Potions
the kind of witch i want to be: aesthetic grimoire, shelves full of crystals and potions, a walking encyclopedia of witchcraft
the kind of witch i am: hehe hey guys look at this meme
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did you know snape was already the potions teacher when tonks went to hogwarts?
did you know she absolutely had to have done this at least once?
I had a thought: Neville’s greatest fear was Snape. And for ten months of every year for seven years, he went back and faced that fear over and over and over again. It would be like tossing Ron into a nest of spiders every day. Or pitching Harry against a Dementor every day. Neville went back for Potions every time, never skipped out, never ran away. Kid was braver than anyone ever noticed from the very beginning, even before he started standing up for himself.
where are my southern witches at?
where’s the witches that make potions from sweet tea
or the witches that throw curses with a sunshine smile and a “bless your heart”
the southern kitchen witches who work magic into canned peaches and homemade biscuits
the witches from the bayou
the southern cottage witches who enchant their homes to be warm and inviting
witches naming their spells things like “mind your manners” and “y'all (don’t) come back now”
I have no idea if there are any witches who do that stuff, but it’s what I imagine my fellow southern witches might be like lol
Sweet tea potions are such a great idea! Maybe make one for those unexpected guests you’d like to leave a little faster.
lush employee: hello, how can I–
me: hello, potion seller. I am going into battle and I need your strongest potions.
my mom is 61 and her bf is a huge nerd and he’s teaching her to play magic the gathering and he had her watch avatar the last airbender with him and his ringtone is terra’s theme from final fantasy 6 and he paints pictures of sephiroth. my mom’s bf is nerdier than i’ll ever be.
and she does all these pinterest crafts and now she makes little bejeweled vials of healing potions for him and his buddies. my little geek heart can’t handle all this.
edit: just picture a 60-something woman with a VERY thick minnesotan accent saying “mike is having me watch the naruto”
just fyi my mom is now 62 and they finished watching “the naruto”
if i had told my 13-year-old self that this is what my mom’s hallway would look like when i was 30 i wouldn’t have believed me
listen. i know jk rowling knows absolutely nothing about america but for the entire country to only have a single wizarding school there must be either 200 professors working at this place or you get to your first potions class and it’s held in a fucking baseball stadium.
No Bathrooms…?
Context: The party was trapped in a haunted mansion, which turned into a boss raid. After killing a number of the owner’s monstrous "pets", they returned to the safe zone in the foyer, where they found the Butler.
Butler (DM): “Oh… you’re back.”
Wizard: “Hi. Do you have any more health potions? A demon just tried to kill us.”
Butler: "No… but why, may I ask, were you disturbing the master’s pets???“
Druid: “They attacked us! It was self-defense!”
Butler: *glances at the open doorway* "…You walked into their enclosure.“
Wizard: "No man, we were just… adventuring down the hallway.”
Butler: "You killed the master’s pets.“
Druid: "Well maybe your ‘master’ shouldn’t keep such evil pets.”
Butler: “You set three rooms on fire.”
Cleric: "…There were spiders. We panicked.“
[there were]
Butler: "You were explicitly told not to leave the foyer. The rest of the house is restricted. For good reason.”
*collective guilty silence*
Paladin: "……. We were looking for the bathroom.“ (roll Bluff)
*DM starts cracking up*
Butler (DM): ”…what?“
Paladin: "The bathroom. We couldn’t find it. I gotta pee.”
*DM is visibly wracking his brain for an appropriate answer*
Butler: "…We don’t have one. Go outside.“
*cue party laughter*
Do you have any rituals that you do right before you go on stage?
- Patrick: Human sacrifice.
- Joe: Yeah, I burn potions in the forest.
- Pete: Prayer circle, black magic.
[ ID: A very red illustration. Two feminine-presenting men sit surrounded by potions of love and stars. One is embracing the other earnestly with hearts surrounding his head, the other leaning back with a human heart floating above his outstretched palm. A spear (dory) is above both of their heads, pointing at the heart. One potion is spilled at the heart-holder’s feet. ]